Dear Athlete: What's Your Story?
Hello athletes! Welcome to Inward Athlete’s blog. I am Dr. Jen Gellock, the creator and main contributor for Inward Athlete, LLC. For my first post, I wanted to share with you some of my story because the creation of Inward Athlete would not be possible without the experiences that have shaped my mission and passion up to this point in my life.
Like many of you readers, I played sports my whole life and I was very fortunate that growing up, my beautiful and loving parents exposed me to every sport experience under the sun. My first memory of participating in sports was in the second grade when I was awarded the MVP as the only girl on my hometown Boys and Girls Club recreational basketball team.
Basketball was my first true love.
I began to take dance lessons at the age of three and did competition dance for the next 10 years until the day my dad lovingly asked me to choose between sports and dance. The rising costs of doing all the things was no longer financially feasible for our middle-class family. Today, I strongly believe families should not have to make these decisions based on their socioeconomic statuses - but I digress.
In middle school, I played club soccer with the “older” girls because the travel teams went by age and not grade. I was born a summer baby, and my mom swears she held me back a year before sending me off to school because she loved me too much. It’s one of the first times I remember feeling the discord of being out of place and not fitting in.
During my middle school years, from sixth through eighth grade, I walked to the YMCA almost every day after school with all my guy friends. I would shoot around on the side baskets praying they would be short on bodies and be forced to ask me to play in their pickup-up games. While I mostly went to watch all my boy crushes, I also went to perfect my shot.
Because basketball was my first true love.
In high school, I was a three-sport athlete and transitioned out of soccer to focus on volleyball, basketball, and softball. When I graduated high school, I received an award titled, “most outstanding female athlete”. However, do not be fooled, I’d be best described as an athlete but not necessarily athletic. I am the quintessential team player, a rule follower, and back then, strived every day to live up to my coaches’ expectations of what a good player was. Looking back, this mentality ended up perpetuating an unhealthy attachment to seek external validation through my sports performances, coaches, and family members' acknowledgment. “You see me right?!” is what my subconscious brain must have been thinking and still yells out to me today. I always wanted to make my coaches proud of my accomplishments.
Because basketball was my first true love.
I always wanted to fit in but I rarely felt like I ever did. Today, I claim this as one of my superpowers. However, back then, sports teams always provided a safe space where no matter my differences I got to be part of the team. It’s still something I love about the power of sports today. I think on a subconscious level, I knew I’d have a built-in community and belonging through my sports teams by playing something all year round. And with the sense of belonging team sports bring, I’d never have to be alone.
Sports brought into my life consistency through daily rituals of attending practices and games. I spent countless hours on the field, in gyms, and on cars and buses traveling to tournaments and games. My parents drove me all over the east coast in support of these endeavors - bless their hearts. I wore my jersey proudly to school on game days. I hit game-winning threes and laid down perfect bunts to move my teammates around the bases. However, over the years I built an identity so high on being an athlete, that when it came for me to leave sports behind - I didn’t know who I was.
Because basketball was my first true love.
When I graduated high school in 2008, I was not good enough to play at the next level in college. Even if I was good enough, I knew my time with competitive sports had come to an end and I was ready for new things. So, I chose to go to college 1,200 miles away from home and I am very thankful to this day that my parents supported me in going on an adventure like this one. However, little did I know I would learn one of the biggest lessons of my life that year and for many years to come - I didn’t know who I was without being an athlete. I remember sitting in my dorm room my freshman year of college confused about how people make friends without the built-in support system of being on a sports team. I sat there pondering, what does one do without sports and a team and how does one find something they care so much about?
Because basketball was my first true love.
I would arguably say, it took me my whole twenties to process, unwind my athletic identity, find my true authentic self outside of the sports arena, and come back home to self-love rather than seek outside performances and/or validation from others.
Today, I offer you an invitation to begin to unpack your own story. What has led you to this point in your transition into life after sports and what experiences have shaped you into who you are today?
I was led by faith and connection to God to align back with the little girl who fell in love with basketball and who had claimed it as her first true love.
I know you have a story just like mine but it is uniquely your own. I can’t wait to meet you and hear it. It is my passion to help you connect with the passion, love for the game, and skills you developed as an athlete and guide you in discovering what’s next in creating your best life after sports. I hope you’ll come back to this page. There are many blog posts, stories, and lessons that I have used to turn into resources that share how I (and so can you!) resiliently (something sports taught me how to do) pushed through discomfort to come out the other side of this transition in living life after sports happy and fulfilled.
It is now my passion to help others navigate life after sports transitions because I wish someone was there to hold my hand who understood, encouraged me, and supported me so I could have learned a little bit quicker that everything was going to be okay and I would be able to leave my first true love behind.
With so much love - are you ready? - it’s time to go inward
Over the next few months Inward Athlete will be offering resources, workshops, and mentoring for athletes who are ready to Go Inward. Stay tuned!
Jen